Sinéad

Today was the final day of library hermit-hood for this semester - critical research is done, the deadline's Monday morning for my essays, so all I've got to do is sit down and write the bloody things. And read the book. Why do I do this to myself? I swear I'm a bit of a masochist. Or just plain deranged in that I seem to like putting myself through hell at the last minute. Like last Monday, when I was literally WRITING AN ESSAY FOUR HOURS BEFORE THE DEADLINE. I am ashamed of that essay. It doesn't even deserve to wipe someone's arse, let alone have a professor look it over.

I'm expecting another repeat of the Beowulf Incident.

I didn't sleep again last night because that seems to be the norm now with bat-me. Plus, I really wanted to watch the Supernatural season finale as soon as it was uploaded (which I honestly did not enjoy too much - not enough Castiel, simplistic solutions to apocalypic problems [I mean, c'mon, this is the devil we're talking about and Sam could over overpower him through over-sentimentalising a car?] and the whole Lisa plot seemed forced, probably because the writers have been shite at trying to maintain a stable, likeable female character through the series. Though, I did enjoy the 'Chuck = God' revelation and it made me wonder why I didn't see it coming). Also, Grey's Anatomy next week looks like it's set to be quite the excitement - seriously, what is it with the Grey's team? They can give you a pretty boring season and then just deliver so much awesomeness in the season finale! They have a CRAZY GUNMAN, for Christ's sake, you just know there's going to be some brilliant tension. I wonder if the gunman will end up being Owen because he's ginger and British and therefore evil.

But, yah, got no sleep, had breakfast, went to the library at half eight and froze my arse off while trying to sneakily enjoy my caramel flapjack (there's a T. S. Eliot critical book in the stacks somewhere with my flapjack crumbs forever imprinted on the pages), before running back home to curl up in bed and nap for a few hours before dinner. Me and Hayley ended up talking about Catholicism again, which we weirdly always seem to come back to - even though I'm no longer a practicing Catholic and Hayley's never grown up in a religious environment of any sort. I guess I just get a kick out of being around people who think Catholicism is exotic and alien, especially as I've grown up round Catholics all my life (here's blaming you, RC primary and secondary schools!). It gives me a new perspective on the religion, that I have all this knowledge regarding the faith that I take massively for granted.

Regarding anime, this week seems to have been a tad crazy for my purse - I haven't really been in the mood for it recently, what with being utterly sucked into the SpockxKirk fandom and chugging down fanfiction like it's my staple diet. But a comic yaoi, Junjou Romantica, got me back in the mood and then I got a bit obsessed with buying a Malaysian copy of it off ebay, which then led me to purchasing Macross Frontier off ebay too (because the USA licensors are stupid and won't hurry up and buy it!! Though, they have had the clever notion of grabbing Kuroshitsuji for Western audiences, even if it will take years for it to get across the pond *mutters*). Ebay is truly a dark, twisted hole of finance evil, leading me to obsessively refresh my paypal account every few hours. I bloody hate paypal now. Got caught up on finishing Kimi ni Todoke and Pandora Hearts as well, which I've been meaning to do for ages. Now I'm onto the second epi of Darker Than Black Gaiden, though I'm going to pop off for a shower in a mo and get back to it.

But if that wasn't enough, I then went ahead and bought the last two volumes of Romeo x Juliet, and Samurai X: Reflection! I think I must have some kind of compulse buying disease or something! A disease which isn't isolated to just anime but has been make me waste my loan on clothes all year (though I believe clothes are never a waste of money, seeing as they make you feel so good). It's a blessing and a curse to live on the Tube network, meaning I will probably spend much of my summer break clocking up the amount of clothing in my wardrobe...

You know, it's a pretty sad thing when a student's wall-planner is filled with more anime release dates than actual academic/social events.

And we're at a week and a half till D-Day, aka essay hand-in time. I really should start all this crap sooner but I can never find the motivation. Even at the moment I only seem to have motivation for my Shakespeare essay. I guess it's cause he's easier to write about - you've got tonnes of secondary criticism to refer to, his writing is chock-a-block with symbolism and he's crazy on the theme front. So crazy I've actually foregone the usual gender question for one on gods and morality, which is a pretty big deal for me - I usually fall back on gender because you're always harping on about the same crap (phallic imagery blah blah blah, masculine anxieties regarding female figures of power blah blah blah) and you can bullshit it into any ol' guise. But, nope, this time I'm going to bring some Machiavelli and some epistemology to the table.

All this means I've delved back into my library habits - packing up my Norton, grabbing dinner and then making my way to the library till it closes. Seeing as it's essay and exam time, the short loan section stays busy even until the bell rings for us all to scram - I guess everyone is feeling the pressure. I just about killed myself on the way home, carrying all these musty books back with me - forgot my cloth-bag, so had to do a Mary Poppins and attempt to get as many books as possible in my satchel and then stagger back with the rest in my arms (which wasn't very successful, as they were some bloody fat books). Lucky for me I practically live across the road from the library!

I love being in the library, though: the sense of quiet learning, the old smell that wafts off the stacks, the funny surreptitious feeling you get when people flit between the aisles. I had to squat in the Shakespeare section (and what a section! It took me twenty minutes to skim through all the titles!) and delve through it, trying to find anything pertaining to religion. Most of the books were written in the 1950s, and some of them were suspiciously brown and gunky. Still, critical essays always help to jolt my brain into gear, get ideas simmering up there, so I have a certain stretch of accomplishment at the end of it all. Next week, and the week after, I'll have to crank things up to the next level and probably get down to the library after breakfast, stay for the whole day and maybe bring my laptop to get some writing done.

Chose my modules, too, today - I went for Hitchcock in the end, over Literature into Film. I'm thinking I can just audit the latter. Besides, Louisa will be in Hitchcock and she says Neil is an amazing lecturer, so I'm expecting good things. Though, I took the plunge and also put down Magical Realism, even though it's taught by the dreaded Becky Munford, urgh.

Also, I had a completely disturbing dream last night (I blame weird dreams on sleeping too much) about a man-eating pigeon. It went around gobbling strips of flesh off my legs while I tried to get away from it. Now, I like birds, I'm even a bit of a twitcher, so it's not like I have an irrational fear of pigeons or anything. I guess it sprung out of a text I got from mama while in the library, talking about how she was watching Woody Woodpigeon and his girlfriend snuggle up. How it went from that to some sort of bird of Satan, I do not know.